The feeling of no love, no bestfriends, no success.
The feelings of loss but you can't. The feelings of trying for mum and dad.
More than one time I ask why mum and dad could live without their friends, and the answer always seemed so true, they got each other.
How could I live without a soulmate?
I have none. Neither friends nor lover.
I have none. Neither time for my self nor time for friends.
Time I have, is just enough to finish all the stuffs - apply - alone.
Well, that's it.
I remembered the time when I was playing puzzles. When it was, actually, funnier than everything I had now. Dealing with the puzzles of my life... the feeling was not that good.
At least, when I was young, puzzle had clues, always. See, you can start wherever you wanted with the puzzles. But I often started inside-out. I saw meticulously on the picture, then try to find some pieces that fitted perfectly with each others. Then I would refer to the picture once again...
That way always worked with simple puzzles. The best way to understand a set of puzzle actually is to go from the center and then, fill out with some details just to make it more fascinating.
But then, I had to deal with the more difficult one, with 1000 pieces. Then the same old method didn't work. But never mind, I still have the margins. Sure. Starting with the margins and then filling in with the rests. This way still worked, but after I finished, I had to look closely to see how beautiful the things were. See, I ofter forgot what I am doing if I finished them from the superficiality to the insight.
But I still reached the goal, in time.
Well, I also realised that with the more difficult work in limited time, there would be no time left to think emotionally about what you truly wanted right now. Everything you did was the only thing to ... finish.
Now, the puzzles of life have no clues from the start, with seemingly unlimited time, but never enough to wait for some miracles. You have to start from the unidentified points, no picture to refer, no margin to start if you suddenly lost your current way.
Now, I recounted the time I was fed up with playing puzzles. What did I do? I saved the about-to-be-done work under the bed, with the rest in container. No specific thing happened, I could still play it whenever I wanted, or give it to friends (but usually don't have friends who want something like that). What did I feel? Nothing. Just fed up and give up.
However, I was always bold enough to come back to the work, finish it, picture it, and break it into original little pieces just to carefully store it. Then I would feel a little proud of what I "tried my best" to finish, only to break it into pieces later.
Now, life-puzzles. No time to rest. No chance to store it for later solving. No friends to give. Just push myself to solve the unclear things...
Hey but I always assure myself that, if I "try my best" to solve it, I will never have to break it into original states to store. Because once I live my life, no need to store it.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
19th November 2014
Dear diary (Dear SAT)
I am going to re-type some examples of SAT essays to make me remember them longer for reusing some of them in my own. Well, actually I don't think that this way may work with my "terrible" short-term memory but I still hope. 16 days until the SAT tests, let see what I can make.
A final example of overcoming adversity to achieve success is illustrated by the story of country singing sensation, Taylor Swift. Taylor grew up in a deprived Pennsylvania household, depressed and lonely. After suffering through dozens of record-label rejections, Taylor was finally signed to Big Machine Record in 2004 and has since revolutionized the music industry. Before Swift, country music was filled with boring lyrics about guys in pickup trucks with their dogs. Taylor completely changed this concept by creating new genre of music, a hybrid of that combined rock and country. Taylor's songs talk about tough breakups, beginning life at a new school, and constant adolescent turmoil. Teen girls have said that whenever they have a bad day, they can listen to one of many Taylor Swift songs and know that they are not alone. By converting her experiences of loss and sadness into songs such as "Teardrops on My Guitar", Taylor Swift has changed the way that people listen to music.
Bonus: Taylor Swift received many awards such as MTV Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, and Grammy Awards for her efforts.
2. Eminem
Another example of this universal truth is shown through the story of Eminem. Throughout his life Marshall Mathers had been discriminated against, growing up in a town where he was the only white kid on the block. Furthermore Eminem aspired to be a famous rapper. Finally after a year of being addicted to cocaine Marshall found the key to his success. Since he couldn't be like all the other black rappers, he used a combination of his creativity and anger to create some of the most influential rap lyrics in the history of the concept. In 1995 he released his first album the Slim Shady LP which was a huge hit. When later asked about the key to his success, he said that all he did was to keep his head high and believed that he could achieve his goal eventually.
3. Beatles
Music is a perfect example of society benefiting from goals. If musicians didn't write new songs, there wouldn't be any music. The Beatles truly show how making goals can change the world. With over twenty-five number one hits, with songs like Let It Be and Hey Jude, the song-writing duo of John Lennon and Paul McCartney were unstoppable. This success inspired many young songwriters, therefore bringing new fantastic bands like Led Zeppelin and Queen into the world. To put it simply, without the four Beatle members' goal of changing the world through music, we as a society wouldn't be the same. This success is truly for the record books.
4. Elvis
Finally the immortal Elvis Presley illustrates how creativity can alter the world around us. Elvis created an entirely original type of music by creatively combining the blues and rhythm into an intriguing new sound that captured the attention of the world. His flamboyant singing and dancing enthralled the new generation who would go on to become the counter-culture rebellion. His creativity inspired many people who would go on to play in bands such as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Eagles, Led Zeppelin, and The Who. If Elvis had not dared to be great, through creativity, the world as we know it would not be the same.
5. Rock 'n Roll
The development of Rock 'n Roll during the 1960's youth movement is prime example of the individual contributing the success of the whole. Bands such as the Who, the Rolling Stones, the Jimi Hendrix Experience and many others developed a unique sound and culture that the world had not yet seen. Through the beautifully orchestrated songs and albums that these individuals wrote on their own, they were able to not only revolutionize the music industry, but also create a new outlook on politics and individual morality. Although looked down on disgustedly by many, new techniques of distortion and nonlinear rhythms transported the listeners to new spiritual heights. Pete Townshend and Jimi Hendrix were particularly important in the revolution of rock and roll through their uncanny stage behaviour and virtuoso playing skills. If these individuals had not stepped outside the social norms of the music industry, culture wouldn't have progressed nearly to as great of an extent as it has which emphasizes the fact that individuals can have a substantial impact on the whole of the society.
6. Lady Gaga
Another example of avant-garde expression is Lady Gaga, a rising pop sensation throughout the world who has changed the conventional definition of pop music. Lady Gaga was the first female artist to cover her body in tattoos as well as cover her face in masks, bejeweled sunglasses, or with exotic makeup designs. She also revolutionized pop-culture with her wild and imaginative hairstyles and outfits. Lady Gaga is the first performer to make a hat out of her own hair, as well as the only celebrity to ever sport heelless platform shoes. While some may see her as obnoxious and outlandish, no one can deny that she has left a lasting impact on pop culture that will forever change the way it is perceived by future generations. It takes an unconventional mind to create a new genre of music and a new standard of what is socially acceptable among celebrities.
7. Jimi
Finally, creativity as a means to progress can be seen in the guitar legend, Jimi Hendrix. No guitarist has ever revolutionized rock music more than Hendrix. With his use of new amplifier feedback techniques, which were previously deemed undesirable, and his fusion of blues, R&B, soul, funk, and jazz, Jimi Hendrix forever changed the face of Rock 'n Roll. His original music and lyrics brought him much success and also influenced other musicians such as Vaughn and Jimmy Page. Hendrix will forever be known for his revolutionary take on music and how he popularized the distinct sound of Rock.
8. Jazz
Jazz music, like any form of music, is a form of creativity which creates beauty with the power of bringing people together and bringing joy to those who have none. Jazz is a creative form of language or more precisely, a conversation. It is an improvised conversation between a trumpeter, a precisionist, a jazz pianist, and a saxophonist. It is an art not based so much on repetition, practice, and perfection, but pure creativity. Jazz, though a uniquely American art form, spread to Europe and merged with other art forms in Latin America. Jazz is the coming together of not just White American and Black American culture, but all people. The conflict Jazz faced in its heyday in the 30s was to entertain a distressed population. But the dancing and the smiles continued in the 40s as it had done in the 30s, where jazz music played. Creativity in music had the power not only to bond but to keep people going.
I am going to re-type some examples of SAT essays to make me remember them longer for reusing some of them in my own. Well, actually I don't think that this way may work with my "terrible" short-term memory but I still hope. 16 days until the SAT tests, let see what I can make.
Today will be about the examples from Music/Musician
1. Taylor SwiftA final example of overcoming adversity to achieve success is illustrated by the story of country singing sensation, Taylor Swift. Taylor grew up in a deprived Pennsylvania household, depressed and lonely. After suffering through dozens of record-label rejections, Taylor was finally signed to Big Machine Record in 2004 and has since revolutionized the music industry. Before Swift, country music was filled with boring lyrics about guys in pickup trucks with their dogs. Taylor completely changed this concept by creating new genre of music, a hybrid of that combined rock and country. Taylor's songs talk about tough breakups, beginning life at a new school, and constant adolescent turmoil. Teen girls have said that whenever they have a bad day, they can listen to one of many Taylor Swift songs and know that they are not alone. By converting her experiences of loss and sadness into songs such as "Teardrops on My Guitar", Taylor Swift has changed the way that people listen to music.
Bonus: Taylor Swift received many awards such as MTV Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, and Grammy Awards for her efforts.
2. Eminem
Another example of this universal truth is shown through the story of Eminem. Throughout his life Marshall Mathers had been discriminated against, growing up in a town where he was the only white kid on the block. Furthermore Eminem aspired to be a famous rapper. Finally after a year of being addicted to cocaine Marshall found the key to his success. Since he couldn't be like all the other black rappers, he used a combination of his creativity and anger to create some of the most influential rap lyrics in the history of the concept. In 1995 he released his first album the Slim Shady LP which was a huge hit. When later asked about the key to his success, he said that all he did was to keep his head high and believed that he could achieve his goal eventually.
3. Beatles
Music is a perfect example of society benefiting from goals. If musicians didn't write new songs, there wouldn't be any music. The Beatles truly show how making goals can change the world. With over twenty-five number one hits, with songs like Let It Be and Hey Jude, the song-writing duo of John Lennon and Paul McCartney were unstoppable. This success inspired many young songwriters, therefore bringing new fantastic bands like Led Zeppelin and Queen into the world. To put it simply, without the four Beatle members' goal of changing the world through music, we as a society wouldn't be the same. This success is truly for the record books.
4. Elvis
Finally the immortal Elvis Presley illustrates how creativity can alter the world around us. Elvis created an entirely original type of music by creatively combining the blues and rhythm into an intriguing new sound that captured the attention of the world. His flamboyant singing and dancing enthralled the new generation who would go on to become the counter-culture rebellion. His creativity inspired many people who would go on to play in bands such as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Eagles, Led Zeppelin, and The Who. If Elvis had not dared to be great, through creativity, the world as we know it would not be the same.
5. Rock 'n Roll
The development of Rock 'n Roll during the 1960's youth movement is prime example of the individual contributing the success of the whole. Bands such as the Who, the Rolling Stones, the Jimi Hendrix Experience and many others developed a unique sound and culture that the world had not yet seen. Through the beautifully orchestrated songs and albums that these individuals wrote on their own, they were able to not only revolutionize the music industry, but also create a new outlook on politics and individual morality. Although looked down on disgustedly by many, new techniques of distortion and nonlinear rhythms transported the listeners to new spiritual heights. Pete Townshend and Jimi Hendrix were particularly important in the revolution of rock and roll through their uncanny stage behaviour and virtuoso playing skills. If these individuals had not stepped outside the social norms of the music industry, culture wouldn't have progressed nearly to as great of an extent as it has which emphasizes the fact that individuals can have a substantial impact on the whole of the society.
6. Lady Gaga
Another example of avant-garde expression is Lady Gaga, a rising pop sensation throughout the world who has changed the conventional definition of pop music. Lady Gaga was the first female artist to cover her body in tattoos as well as cover her face in masks, bejeweled sunglasses, or with exotic makeup designs. She also revolutionized pop-culture with her wild and imaginative hairstyles and outfits. Lady Gaga is the first performer to make a hat out of her own hair, as well as the only celebrity to ever sport heelless platform shoes. While some may see her as obnoxious and outlandish, no one can deny that she has left a lasting impact on pop culture that will forever change the way it is perceived by future generations. It takes an unconventional mind to create a new genre of music and a new standard of what is socially acceptable among celebrities.
7. Jimi
Finally, creativity as a means to progress can be seen in the guitar legend, Jimi Hendrix. No guitarist has ever revolutionized rock music more than Hendrix. With his use of new amplifier feedback techniques, which were previously deemed undesirable, and his fusion of blues, R&B, soul, funk, and jazz, Jimi Hendrix forever changed the face of Rock 'n Roll. His original music and lyrics brought him much success and also influenced other musicians such as Vaughn and Jimmy Page. Hendrix will forever be known for his revolutionary take on music and how he popularized the distinct sound of Rock.
8. Jazz
Jazz music, like any form of music, is a form of creativity which creates beauty with the power of bringing people together and bringing joy to those who have none. Jazz is a creative form of language or more precisely, a conversation. It is an improvised conversation between a trumpeter, a precisionist, a jazz pianist, and a saxophonist. It is an art not based so much on repetition, practice, and perfection, but pure creativity. Jazz, though a uniquely American art form, spread to Europe and merged with other art forms in Latin America. Jazz is the coming together of not just White American and Black American culture, but all people. The conflict Jazz faced in its heyday in the 30s was to entertain a distressed population. But the dancing and the smiles continued in the 40s as it had done in the 30s, where jazz music played. Creativity in music had the power not only to bond but to keep people going.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
15th November 2014
Dear diary
It has been a long time since I felt this way. The uncertain feeling about our love affair keeps me busy for a long time. Sure, I'm thinking about either going on with him or just stop to retain our good memories. I have no idea whether I love him or vice versa. He became someone who was no longer necessary in my life, to be honest. I have many more relationships, friends, and conversations. However, it is quite sincere to say that I really want to come back to our previous days. The old days always have their own attraction. It was when we didnt even think about our future. Unlike today, unlike nowadays.
I love him, so much that I think that the word "love" cannot have enough power to express my feelings for the guy. However, our love affair makes me disappointed again and again. Sometimes, I even think that, God doesnt want us to be a couple, or in other words, despite our attempt, we can never be lovers, truly lovers.
Just like other girls - teenage girls, to be more specific - I love to be loved, I love the feelings I have for my lover. I wish to have days beside him, talking endlessly about everything. But everything has turned out to be...nothing.
How does he mean in my life? Can I live without him?
He loves me, I believe he still loves me (to some extent, actually), but I cant even know how much this love is, and whether it is strong enough to compensate with...my lost feelings.
Please, I dont want to lose him right now. I havent prepared for it yet. I am young, even though I have many chances, waiting for me to experience, to have my true love, I want to make my first love the most remarkable memory in my life.
Today I talked with my mother, and we both agreed that in order to have a long-lasting marriage, it is more important to marry a "soulmate" - what it means is someone who can help his wife with her career, giving helpful advice, and sharing important decision - than to marry someone you merely love. So...you know what I mean.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
7th November 2014
Dear Diary,
The EA of MIT has gone but I still have no idea about the essays. Tomorrow is the SAT subject tests. I may be fine.
Waiting for TOEFL score will be the worst thing I have ever had in my life (not the worst, just kidding, the worst thing was the days spent on waiting for National Competition score)
If I have more than 100 on the Toefl, I will do many things (I need a list, so that I may not forget rewarding myself).
1. I will order a camera, special camera on Tiki.
http://tiki.vn/thiet-bi-kts-phu-kien-so/may-anh/may-chup-hinh-lay-lien.html
In "Say I love you", the girl has one :'( so I really need one to be more satisfactory with my career as a photographer ~~~
2. I will buy a new smart phone. In fact, it does not have to be an expensive one :-ss (no iPhone). I love Android, but no longer like HTC. I think I should change it to Samsung or ~~~ (I dont know)
Just 2 things, they are enough for me right now.
Anyway, I am still waiting for the iPad mini from Perkin ~~ why does it not appear ~~?
OK.
Everything will be all right ;)
God bless my toefl score :-<
The EA of MIT has gone but I still have no idea about the essays. Tomorrow is the SAT subject tests. I may be fine.
Waiting for TOEFL score will be the worst thing I have ever had in my life (not the worst, just kidding, the worst thing was the days spent on waiting for National Competition score)
If I have more than 100 on the Toefl, I will do many things (I need a list, so that I may not forget rewarding myself).
1. I will order a camera, special camera on Tiki.
http://tiki.vn/thiet-bi-kts-phu-kien-so/may-anh/may-chup-hinh-lay-lien.html
In "Say I love you", the girl has one :'( so I really need one to be more satisfactory with my career as a photographer ~~~
2. I will buy a new smart phone. In fact, it does not have to be an expensive one :-ss (no iPhone). I love Android, but no longer like HTC. I think I should change it to Samsung or ~~~ (I dont know)
Just 2 things, they are enough for me right now.
Anyway, I am still waiting for the iPad mini from Perkin ~~ why does it not appear ~~?
OK.
Everything will be all right ;)
God bless my toefl score :-<
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