Thursday, October 30, 2014

30th October 2014

Who am I?
I am a chemist. A high-school chemist learn how to deal with chemistry problems. My life is all about chemistry, and I devote myself for that.
It is when my teacher ask us about what we want to become in the future. We are in senior high-school and it is obvious that we need to choose the university which we want to get into in future. But nobody in my class dare to say it out loud, we are all fear of something - the risk that we cannot take to avoid regret.

 As I spent one year to discover my true motivation for chemistry, wandering and doing some small stuffs in Vietnamese Institue of Chemistry, now I can be sure of who I want to be in the future. After IChO, after struggles in lab with electrode systems (I used to be the lab assistant in the this project, using electrode systems in determining the composition of raw water), I know I want to be a chemist. 
Then what?
No, my life is so simple. I follow my heart. I am strong with decisions I make, I will never regret, I promise.
One year, it can be long enough for one to discover himself, but it can be short to make a miracle. Before applying for MIT, I cannot imagine that in only 4 months after IChO, I have enough time to finish all the requirements for MIT even though my English skill was relatively poor before. But, it is because MIT is my dream - I even dream of receiving acceptance from MIT, I push myself to the greatness of my tolerance, to do everything in just three months. 
Perhaps, MIT can reject me. But I assuage myself that the fact they do not like me this year does not mean I cannot try next year. I will pursue my dream. I promise. Because my heart says that, MIT is my childhood's dream, I need to accomplish this one to pursue the next one - become a chemist.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

27th October 2014

It is all because of my laziness and wrong decision that I wasted a lot of money (of my parents) on what is not necessary for my application process. Now I feel so crazy about the upcoming Toefl test. Can I make my best effort on the test day. Actually I am so scared. If I have to retake the test, I guess, that will be the most awful day of my life.
However, I cannot change the reality so I had better keep practicing until the test day so I can have approximately 100.
Just 100 please :(
Hey God can you tell the ETS that I need only 100 point for my Toefl? Thank you so much because you can help me not to worry about the Toefl anymore :(
God please be good as you always be :D
But if I fail, it is Ok to retake the test I guess.
I am a normal person who can make mistake, rite? It is ok to retake the Toefl T_T

Sunday, October 19, 2014

19th October 2014

I'm sitting in the dark, asking myself a question about writing.
What actually writing is? Is it a way to express yourself?
I used to think that it is, but it turns out to disprove me by many ways.
First, writing is not that fun. What I mean is it is a bunch of requests formed by the standard criteria. They have to serve for something, writing is not merely a mean of expression. So, the wordy and emotional style I used to writing have to change, and I do not like this movement.
Second, although I intend to write my story in a puzzle way, which require many efforts to understand. Because I think writing style is the mirror which can reflect one's characteristics, my writing stands in for me, and I am a complicated person just like my writings.
Hey, so what is wrong with my writing?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

15th October 2014

Oh my God.,.
There are only 16 days for me to prepare for the test and everything seems like a mess now. It is crazy for me to accomplish all of this at the same time. But I did, and now, it turns out to be nothing more than a mess,
Thanks God, I am still alive.
I mean, I do not have enough time for everything and I always feel overwhelmed. TOEFL test is coming, SAT 2 test is coming and SAT test is waiting to...come
Everything seems like a messy place for me right now and without my expectation, it seems that I did very well with all of my energy.
My friends, look at them, I feel jealous with things they are having.
What should I do to change my terrible writing style??? What should I do to improve my writing?
OMG I feel really tired of not having enough time to sleep...